Patience

As I hunched forward over another wonderful meal Nikki had prepared, my elbows rested on our kitchen island. While I was hungry after a full day, all I could do was sit and stare at the floor.

“Are you going to eat?” “Do you have very much pain?” Those were the questions Nikki was asking, but my mind was numb to conversation. Frankly, I was numb to everything, including the pain from rupturing my right Achilles tendon 30-minutes earlier while playing basketball with our 15-year-old son, Ben. I knew what this would mean – I have observed professional athletes with this injury before – I had a VERY long road to recovery.

It hits you hard when, in an instant, all your plans are turned on a head – no more basketball workouts with Ben to help prepare him for his sophomore season (I loved those moments in the gym), no more afternoon walks in the neighborhood with Nikki, no trip to North Carolina to visit our clients I had so looked forward to seeing, and no ability to drive to Starbucks with our 13-year-old daughter, Ava, for our weekly devotional time, no, no, no…

Then it hit me – Circumstances don’t make or break you – they reveal you.

This was the theme of my message just two weeks prior. In that message, I shared a story of a friend who was facing some challenges, and how I encouraged him to start focusing on the windshield instead of the broken rearview mirror. Now, my circumstances presented a similar fork in the road. I wish I could say that I snapped out of my trance at dinner quickly, but that wasn’t the case. After having moved to the couch without touching my dinner or speaking a word, I began to reflect on what this would ‘reveal’ about me, and I opened both my mind and heart to what God might be trying to teach me. It was in that moment that I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and clarity in God’s answer – PATIENCE.

‘Patience’ has been my ‘One Word’ for 2024, and there on the couch I knew that my new reality would put my ‘patience’ to the ultimate test. How does someone as active as I am, as on the go as I am, and as passionate as I have been about living my life at an optimal level of physical fitness, accept the fact that they now would require surgery followed by four to six months of recovery? 

PATIENCE

One of the nine fruits of the Spirit, ‘patience’ historically has not been my strength. For that reason, I began this year making it a priority. Little did I know how important this virtue would become as the year has unfolded. The truth is this injury is the latest in a series of circumstances in which my patience has been tested – and without a doubt, this will be my greatest test yet.

While I can’t promise I won’t be without another moment of complete numbness, I hope and pray that my circumstances reveal a humbled individual willing to use the cards he has been dealt to grow in his ‘patience’ for others and himself. My Achilles may have been torn, but a better version, a more ‘patient’ version of me is in the windshield.

PS – Thank you for allowing me this space to express feelings I have struggled to communicate verbally – and a special thanks to all who have reached out, expressed your concern, and offered prayers. Your love and support have been felt in more ways than you will know.