Major in the Majors

This week I found myself (again) reflecting on a life lesson that bears repeating – or at least I need to hear myself write it again.

Major in the majors

What was the triggering event this year?

My wife and I were working through expectations for our children around their responsibility to pay for certain expenses. I was getting hung up in the ‘minors’ and needed to step back and see the big picture – the ‘majors’. As I was about to dig my heels in on a ‘minor’ detail, it hit me.

Major in the majors

This simple statement stopped me from making a big deal about something relatively insignificant. That day I paused and asked myself, “Do I really want to dig in and push the issue, or would I rather save my energy for a topic with more significant implications?” 

Where did l learn this life lesson? Twenty years ago, I had a good friend whose parents looked past what appeared to be questionable decisions, and instead, focused on what was most important. You see, my friend’s family had a wonderful reputation in our small, Central Illinois community. But when this friend decided to get his ears pierced (in three places!) and purchase a crotch rocket as his primary form of transportation, I wondered what his parents were thinking. Knowing them well, I can only assume they didn’t approve. But my friend never felt any disapproval. Instead, he felt completely loved and accepted.

His parents ‘majored in the majors’, and outward appearance and mode of transportation were not ‘majors’ for this family. My friend had been the captain of his basketball team, valedictorian of his high school class, and had received a full academic scholarship for the first two years of college. Those were the ‘majors’ my friend’s parents focused on, and their love was not a condition of what was in his ears or whether his vehicle had two wheels or four.

Major in the majors

A lesson I will never forget. A lesson I learned from a “good friend” –who just happened to be named Josh Waite.

Yes, believe it or not, that was me. While the earrings came out and the motorcycle was sold (both never to return), I have never forgotten how my parents handled the years beforehand. I can honestly say, I never felt judged, outcast, or unloved. My parents ‘majored in the majors’. I hope one day Ben and Ava will say the same of me.