RSF

This statement was one of the many ‘ranch-isms’ I learned while attending JH Ranch’s Father/Daughter Camp with Ava, earlier this month. As I reflect on the truth of the statement in my own life, I remember moments worthy of sharing, and others I am not particularly proud of. Did I step up to the challenge, or did I cower away? Did I rise above the fray, or did I fold into the crowd? I encourage you to take a minute to pause and reflect on how this statement hits you.

Circumstances don’t make or break you – they reveal you.

Earlier this year I found myself in a conversation with a friend who was sharing his frustration about his professional circumstances. Specifically, he had just returned from visiting a peer organization and heard about all the great things they were doing to achieve their goals. My friend’s frustration was rooted in the realization that the organization he was now a part of had made many mistakes prior to his joining, and now he was supposed to develop a plan going forward to right the ship.

As I listened to him share, I eventually interrupted his flow of thought with a sentence I had never spoken previously – “Start focusing on the windshield instead of the broken rearview mirror.”

What struck me in that moment was his focus on all the problems of the past. And, thanks to years of personal coaching I had received from Dr. Jason Selk, I remembered that the formula for overcoming stress, fear, and/or anxiety in any situation is RSF.

RSF = Relentless Solution Focus

Focus on potential solutions, not the problem at hand. Psychologists, of which Jason is one, would tell us, “That which you focus on expands.” Therefore, focusing on the problem only increases the problem in your mind. At the same time, focusing on solutions expands your mind to new and better solutions. 

How do you reset your mind on solutions? Simply ask yourself the question, “What is one thing I can do differently to improve this situation?” When you run into your next problem, ask it again. You see, even if it is a small incremental improvement, there is always something you can do differently to improve the situation – even if it is simply focusing on the windshield instead of the broken rearview mirror.

Fortunately, my friend did just that, and today his organization is taking meaningful steps to build towards a better future.

Circumstances don’t make or break you – they reveal you.